An Ode to a 'Virtual' friend

He was a big SRK fan…

He was a very good listener….

He was a good human being & my friend…

But a ‘virtual’ friend as I never really got to meet him… the distance between two cities was never covered… and like a lot of things this was on my to-do list…. I guess I have to cross it off now as I will never really meet him... the distance between us now has extended to life & death…

He is no more…  and I’m not sure how to accept this loss…. I know he has a wife.. I know he has a son.. I know there will be a whole set of people who loved him.. But I don’t know anyone… so how do I reach out & let him know that he is in my prayer.. he is in my thoughts…. 

So if you can hear me… I want to put this out there….

I miss you Rehan…  Without knowing any details of my life you understood me.. and were always ready to give me time when I felt like talking…. There are very few people who can give the gift of time.. and you my dear friend honored me with yours….

You & your family are in my prayers.. Rest in peace!

The Great Indian Service Class!

With a change of job I get to travel within the city everyday these days..  Earlier my office was outside the main city & so didn’t have this experience for a long time… City has obviously changed and “so-called” urbanization has taken its toll; roads are jammed, traffic is slow & most of all the colour green is visible in patches… very few of them unfortunately…

I get to see all types of residential developments & hoardings with builders trying to lure you into deals which makes them richer & gets the hard-earned money from “some folks”..

Who are these “some folks” for whom these offers are being fashioned… Someone who has a stash of black/blue/brown colour cash doesn’t need an offer as these are just opportunities to change the colour of cash… So who is the target…

The city is divided into areas, some are “posh” some “affordable, there are some “new-city-on-their-own” and some are solely targeting at “IT people” which seems a bit frivolous as the “on-paper” & “in-hand” status of an IT person is the stuff of legends.

The “posh” ones generally don’t have offers as this is meant for folks with coloured cash…

So that only leaves “Service Class” who are the potential targets for all these budget, smart & affordable property offers…

Service class people don’t make money… they save money…

They work hard so that someday they will be eligible for an offer... so the offer is not for these people.. But people make themselves fit for one…

At some point these folks will achieve the target & be proud owners of one… but is this what they really want?

Service class are dreamers… yes they live on planet earth but they dream the universe… the other set of people get to live the dream or maybe for them it is not really a dream… but for The Great Indian Service Class the dream is the ultimate ecstasy…

They dream of a large house in the “posh” area but settle for affordable homes…

They dream of the luxury sedan & cruise control but settle for the hatchback with low maintenance...

They dream of 5-star luncheons but opt for the budget restaurant…

Most of all they dream of dying rich…

So does this make them losers… I think not... On the contrary this is the precise set of people who lead the urbanization & development of the city… every change is triggered from a common man’s problem..

People stuck in traffic jam... leads to road development... & who travels on the street?

Residential properties springing up everywhere… which set of people now have the power to buy!

Malls & multiplexes opening in galore... well folks need entertainment & ofcourse the source of more dreams!!!

Progress today is making the rich richer & poor poorer…. But the Service Class... the middle layer… strong & steady leads the way…

Kudos to “The Great Indian Service Class”, proud to be part of it!!!

Sakhar Zhop….Sugar Sleep….Subah ki Meethi Meethi Neend….

It happens after about 5 secs after your alarm rings… your brain knows that you have to wake up.. and your heart wants a little more time to sleep…between the brain and heart there is a calculation which tells you that you can have 10 mins more if you are not planning to wash your hair or have breakfast or cook in the morning… any task that you can omit and use that time to sleep is identified and on completing the calculation…. The heart tells the brain…. Well 10 mins.. only 10 mins I will wake up…..  as you close your eyes and reminisce about the events of the previous night… a tiny smile plays on your lips…and the mind moves to a happy place….

I call this ‘Snooze’ sleep….

Now at this point if there is no trigger to wake you up… you will go to into deep sleep & even have some dreams… only to wake up in a panic state and make a run for it…!! I know this, as today morning I went into snooze sleep for about 50 mins… well I had the most wonderful dream… There was this guy in the dream… and he was… well is… pretty perfect… but…  there are always “buts” to any good thing in life…

So you can have cake.. but you will put on weight…

You can drive as fast as you want.. But there can be an accident..

You can sleep as much as you want… But you won’t get any work done… and so on…

But.. :) this piece is not about the dream.. nor the guy in the dream(I could write an essay about him).. or the ‘Buts’ in life…

It is about ‘Snooze’ Sleep…

The extra sleep after alarm rings… the extra sleep when you know that beyond a certain point you cannot sleep anymore…

This short nap is precious.. I have no idea why…

You can sleep as much as you want on a weekend…but the joy of ‘Snooze’ sleep cannot be matched…

In Marathi(which is my mother tongue) we have a name for it… ‘Sakhar Zhop’ (Sugar Sleep) and in the National Language… Meethi Meethi Neend…

One peculiar thing about this nap is.. incase you have a dream.. it is always a good one… something that makes you smile… Hence the reference to sweet sugar in the name I think…

Like the one with the perfect guy… or the one where I have conquered the world… or a scene with Mr Khan & me … my dreams at this point are pretty standard girly stuff.. but always good ones… Snooze Sleep has no bad dreams… and I think for this reason we wish them to come true…. I always hope they do…

Snooze Sleep in my books counts as the ‘perks’ of life… small moments of joy… they go unnoticed and are forgotten many times..  mostly we don’t give a second thought to this event as it is mundane and happens too often…

However the next time you do have a Snooze sleep.. and wake up.. give yourself a moment to feel this happy feeling…

If it was accompanied by a dream… give a thought to that dream.. it could just be a reflection of what you really want in life.. or just a recollection of a good memory…

You will definitely have a small happy moment in your life.. life after all is made of thousands of tiny happy & very happy moments right?

So once the alarm rings… Have a nice Sakhar Zhop…!!!!

Rok sako toh rok lo…!!!!

I had a fight with a guy today… official fight… which resulted in me writing a big bad email to the world and then taking out all the anger on white board behind my desk… it is a large white board… I basically cleaned it… and then scribbled all over it…!!!

Now this guy is a friend of sorts and outside of work we get along pretty well…. To cheer me up while going back home he sent me pictures of Hinjewadi roads(that is homeland)… and also wished me good morning today(he never does that)….

I’m thinking of how people interpret my anger… he thinks I’m angry with him.. in which case I would have not talked to him after our fight… but I did talk to him…  rest of the guys in office thought that this was going to be meltdown of sorts so they were being extra nice…

My anger has steps…

1. Anger… increase in volume of speech… quickening of pulse… frowning of the face…
2. Then is a psychotic urge to break stuff… breaking things gives me super feeling… I know what you are thinking.. “main pagal hoon”(I’m mad).. well… that is true in all scenarios of my life…
3. A strong urge hit someone… this is for special cases….
4. Nerve racking sense of helplessness when I can’t do either of the steps 2 or 3….
5. Weird urge to eat chocolate…. This is the silliest thing… but yes… chocolate always turns up in my head when I’m angry… dark n gooey kind…  Have not been able to decipher the meaning of that yet…
6. and finally regret…The regret is always there… not over getting angry… or over breaking things (I have done that a lot mostly with my own stuff)… but it is just for getting into that situation where I got angry in the first place…

And when I think back… I am in the situation due to my own fault.. always….

So I keep wondering… why is it that I don’t stop myself from getting there…  Is it because I don’t realize where this situation is getting to?

There is loads of ‘gyan’ on how people need to control anger… be calm… but it is a gyan and only saints have the strength required for this control… I’m a mere mortal… There are times when I’m successful in controlling (very few) and others when I’m not(too many)….  But I think anger has a good side…

I get angry when someone says something about the ones I love…. Which means I am emotional about my relationships…

I get angry when I’m are trying hard to make something work and someone is trying even harder to stop it from happening… This means I’m  passionate about the work I do…

I get angry when people don’t agree with me… this means I try to seek acceptance and want to have a sense of belonging….  (even though getting everyone to agree with me is not the way to this)

Overall I don’t think it is a bad emotion that we need to control all the time.. sometimes just letting go is helpful too… keyword being sometimes….

I take pride in being emotional and passionate and it is just human to want to fit in… so I’m going to keep my anger and there are going to be fireworks… Rok sako toh rok lo…!!!!

Weekend in Ipswich…!

I have been in the UK for about 20 days now… and finally I feel like I have settled in… I even came up to speed on the ‘Normal’ weekend activities that I’m supposed to do…

What do I mean by ‘Normal’…..  well on an average all Indians who live in “Onsite” locales do a set of activities in a recurring manner… every weekend….
To a person coming from our “bustling with activity” country these tasks would seem pretty mundane… even outright boring… but for the trying-to-fit-in-Angrezy-land-desi this is inevitable…. Here goes the list….

1. Cleaning – unlike India this can be done once a week… don’t we love the cold countries where there is no dust… no dust = no cleaning everyday… Life can’t be this easy though… don’t get excited…  so what’s the catch… try “hovering” the invisible dust.. you will miss the “zhadooo”…  yes you will… coz this wonder of technology gives you sore arms… sore back… n takes forever… Miss you Mr Broom…
2. Weekly shopping – this refers to stocking up your fridge with milk, juice, fruits, veggies and frozen fattening stuff…The Indian bargaining germ is on full alert… the style of bargaining here is not to tell the guy in ‘Sainsbury’ – ‘Oye 10 ka 2 de,, nahi toh rehne de main doosri dukkan se le loongi’… But we need to figure out the ‘doosri dukkan’… it involves Data collection(asking other “settled” desis where & what), Analysis(mapping to what I need to where I get and costs involved), Planning (checking how much time and distance to walk to achieve best results) and of course Reporting (updating in “short reckonings” to do hisaab with roomates)… the most interesting activity is data collection coz I have information like below:
   1. Sugar is cheaper in QD than Sainsbury.. same sugar but cheaper.. I don’t understand the English…
   2. Get Indian stuff from Sri-Lankan… This guy runs an Indian shop.. but Sri Lankans apparently are more popular this side of the UK then Desis and so they rule….!
   3. Don’t buy anything from Patel… but whenever you ask where I will get ‘Something’.. the answer is Patel’s, but don’t buy he sells everything ‘mehenga’.. I have not been there even once.. but the number of times his name is mentioned tops the Sri Lankans and all other Asian shops put together.. nobody seems to buy anything from him though…I think it is primarily coz his shop is on the other side of everything.. (check PS for everything).. we also have the lazy gene within so…. don’t buy stuff from Patel.. but keep talking about him… recently a friend of mine enlighted me on the mystery… apparently Miss Patel is the reason for all the ‘Patel’s Jao’ hoppla… men will be men… and suddenly it all makes sense…!
   4. Poundland… buy everything there… 1 pound.. go crazy… yeah just coz it is 1 pound do you have to pick everything..??

I have heard all this with an open mind.. but every time I can’t help think how Indian brain functions… we just never get over doing the conversions in our heads.. even someone as poor in maths as me can do very fast conversions in my head… it is a Miracle…!

3. India calling – Weekend is the only time we make long calls home… really long…. Well Indians like talking.. and people like me like talking even more.. so I call up people… over the last 3 weekends I have called up people I have not called in months.. Calls are like

‘Hi Prajakta here…”
“ ohhh Prajakta, it has been so long…”
“ yeah I know…  I’m in UK actually..”
“Oh when did you go, didn’t tell while going na…”
“ya it all happened in the blink of an eye(complete lie) didn’t get time to call…”
“oh you never call..”(as if they call me everyday)
“aare so I called you as soon as I got here, just been a week…”
“oh that is sweet, when you come back we will meet up(this is lie from the other side)…”
“ya sure, I hope all is well.. blah blah blah…” .
It makes them happy and it gives me something to do… Sab khush…! Not that I don’t enjoy these calls… but point is there are happening coz I’m here…!!
Bolo…. 1p per min ki Jai…!!!

4. Planning for other weekends – This is the fun activity… when sunshine hits sleepy towns in UK everyone gets on the feet and in the street… literally… and it gets the Indians excited too… and we plan.. Switzerland.. Scotland.. or simple trip to London… all in advance… cheaper tickets is the catch to the all the planning..  But this is fun…  Take a tour or if you are more adventurous plan your own trip… hotels, BnBs or caravans.. loads of options to stay… this phase also gives as much pleasure as the trip would.. and trust whether you do it here or in India… planning trips for people like me gives super adrenaline kick…!!
5. Go on the planned trip – yeah some weekends are spent doing activities planned on point 4…  and these are probably the best weekends.. I’m yet to experience the sweets of patience aka ‘Sabra ka fal meetha hota hai’ feeling…  but for now waiting for this weekend to happen

Moral of the story… Weekends here are slow and the DIY stuff turns you into a bore… but then this is the reason men from IT world are eligible bachelors… they learn to cook, clean and shop… and I think they start to appreciate women a little more…
As for girls… we are perfect and perfection cannot be improved…!!!
Anyways I did 4 out of 5 activities on my second weekend here… So I guess I’m settling in!!
PS: Everything in Ipswich is a set of 4 streets… which is called Towncenter…  anything beyond is far by Ipswich standards and people will only go as far as the Towncenter to get anything….
PPS: ‘He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’ was born in Ipswich in real life… I found this after scavenging for fun facts and trivia about Ipswich…  But that’s about it.. the only interesting thing about Ipswich… This is a village… and I have to get my mind to adjust to slow life….

Go Green!!

I like the colour green… one of the reasons for that is how it enhances a view…turns a landscape into a classic shot… and fills your heart with LOVE….

After a hot, sweaty and horrible summer when rains give life to the dead atmosphere... the best version of the colour green comes alive… This green is soothing… calming… like a sweet lullaby… All I want to do is dance a slow dance…!!

As birds begin their romances… the heart gets filled with love… I fall in love with everything around… even this barren land surrounding the office brightens up… the office brightens up…. JJJ

Green is the colour of envy and I was wondering why would such a pleasant colour be associated with such a strong human emotion… after googling I want to believe one piece which I read... it said green is only present on the Earth... so other planets, satellites, everything that lies in the infinite space ‘Universally’ envy the Earth… and hence this is colour of envy…!

Whenever you ask someone their favourite colour the answer is generally blue or white or even black… Even my answer is red in this context… green rarely makes the cut…. but right now... as I close my eyes… and smell the earth… it is green… the love generating green!!! And as I go green with love I remember lines from my favourite poem ‘Daffodils’…

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

You may be green with envy for what someone else has.. Or the grass on the lawn in the adjoining office/house maybe greener... or greenest…

The colour green will always represent what we want to have in life... it may be out of reach… or after getting there the green maybe not so-much-greener… but if you have green in your life… you have desires….dreams.. wishes… love…. and envy too….  so Go GREEN!!

Today's Song... Yeh Hosla

Song ; Yeh Hosla

Movie : Dor

Music. : Salim-Sulaiman.

Lyrics. : Mir Ali Hussain

Singer : Shafqat Amanat Ali Khan, Salim Merchant (backup)

I watch all kinds of movies.. even the bad ones…. There is one category of movies which I call ‘miracle’ movies…

Aamir, Dor, Jhankar Beats, Bheja Fry, Hyderabad blues to name a few… these are movies that make you feel wonderful and also sometimes leave a new thought in your head to linger on…

Dor was a surprise and unfortunately I could watch the movie in theatre. It is a very inspiring movie and the music is brilliant too.

All the songs are different whether it is Kesariya Balam or Iman ka Asar (Shreya Ghoshal & Sunidhi Chauhan).

Kesariya and all its versions deserve another piece. For now it a folk song originally composed by Shantanu Moitra and this one is a reworked version by Salim Sulaiman.

The song Yeh Hosla has a very good video as well. It is sung by Amanat Ali Khan who is a part of Pakistani band Fuzon (their song Khamaj is superb) . His voice is mesmerizing, the perfect singer for this one. And the song… it is like lift up… soothing and inspiring…. Very few instruments are used here.. it is voice that carries it to your heart…

Yeh Hosla Kaise Jhuke, Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke

In a way hope and faith are always within us.. during hard times we need more strength to find them…

Manzil Mushkil to kya, dhundla Sahil to kya,

Tanha Ye Dil to Kya.. Ho Hooo

Sometimes we cannot even see where we are headed to… but hope leads us on

Raah Pe Kante Bikhre agar, Uspe to phir bhi chalna hi hai,

Shaam Chhupale Suraj magar, Raat ko ek din Dhalana hi hai,

Do we really have the choices.. do we really decide… I think it is more like the path is there… filled with impossible looking hurdles.. our only choice is whether we stay where are and wait for the miracle or take the path and be the miracle…

Rut ye tal jayegi, Himmat rang layegi,

Subha phir aayegi… Hoooo

Those tiny moments in life which bring a smile and make us happy… yes they are there and they make you happy too… so though right now seems like an ordeal it will pass…

Hogi hame jo rehmat ada, Dhup kategi saaye tale,

Apni khuda se hai ye Dua, Manzil lagale humko gale

That vision of paradise is in our minds.. different for each one… yet the place that we want to be in…it drive us… and that is what creates the hope within….

Zurrat so baar rahe, Uncha Ikraar rahe,

Zinda har pyar rahe… Hoooo

And no matter how many times we falter… to go on is life…

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke, Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke